May 13 ... Pride and Joy

So middle daughter had a bit of a drama yesterday. Today is the first day of a three week intensive work schedule. She was not expecting any hiccups in the plan - and couldn't really afford one - and of course that being the case, there was one. The issue revolves around parenting support and care for my grandson. So last night as we chatted I tried to soothe her, reminded her of all the obstacles she has already overcome, pointed out her strengths, told her we were there for her.

Later in the evening, after speaking to Honey, I decided that if need be I would drive up to Levis this weekend to be of whatever help I could. I then wrote a note to middle daughter explaining - that if she wanted it, I would be more than happy to come up this weekend rather than next (which has been planned for some time) - and to pitch in. I offered this not from a place of anything other than love and support, and a true belief in her capacity to deal with the situation. I feel that she is working so hard, and doing so well, that this unexpected hiccup shouldn't have to be a hardship on her. I want her feeling supported and strong.

So this morning I hear from her. And my wonderful daughter said, while she would so very much love to have me there, it was going to be fine with out me. She wrote, "I have to learn how to trust those around me sometime don't I? I have to show myself I can do this on my own Mom. I have to step up now and take care of things."

My daughter is showing such maturity, responsibility, poise, and intelligence... I am so very proud of her. It is such an absolutely wonderful feeling to hear thanks mom, but I can handle this one. Of course you can daughter, of course you can. I adore you.

March 12.... lessons

This has been a tough week. I'm glad it's Friday. I'm glad I'm home with Honey, we're having a quiet little dinner, glass of wine, Johnny Cash, it's all good.

This week I learned that I am grateful my mother .. was it my mother???? taught me to stand up for myself, to use my voice, to say hey, what I'm feeling is important. And while doing that - standing up and all - may cause a hornet's nest worth of poo to stir up, and feels awfully uncomfortable, it's gotta be done people, it's gotta be done. I met a woman this week who never learned that, and it's sad, sad in the saddest of senses. What's sad is that woman reminds me I'm grateful for my voice, in the same way thinking of my mother reminds me I'm grateful for my voice - it's the lack of their own that shows me the power of mine. I feel like there may be something not right in that... but I'm grateful for my voice none the less.

And after this long, stressful and weary making week ... I'm grateful for my home, my Honey, my life, my strength, my ability to make choices and understand things; I'm grateful for change, for friends, for the love in my life - cause really, I realize, it sustains me.

Happy Friday.