June 13 ... in the woods...

We got up early today and headed to the Laurentians for a cycle in Morin Heights. It started off kind of shaky... so after wiping out in the first 5 minutes, (no real harm done sort of), and finding my own private bathroom in the woods (I don't think I have EVER done that!! God Help Me) ... we finally got underway and had a fantastic 50 km ride. Ireland, we're getting ready for you! I feel great.

We went from Morin Heights to Lac des Seize Iles, through something called Le Corridor Aerobique. It was beautiful, difficult, wonderful! Much of the way looks like a place they might have filmed the Hobbit. Moss covered stones, brooks and waterfalls, small lakes all along. I was so thrilled when we came upon Lac des Seize Iles. It's a part of the country-side that is burned into memory -we have driven there so many times, it's on the way to Winnetou. It's a lake I have always wanted to get to know. The picnic lunch was awesome. And while the ride back - up most of a mountain to start was arduous, there is something so rewarding for me to know that my body can indeed cooperate. I feel great, whooped, and happy.

April 29 ... Sensory Memories

I had a great bike ride today. I rode up and over Mount Royal to the Plateau - to go pick up my glasses finally - and rode back up and through Mount Royal to get home. It was great. Nothing like endorphins to make me a happy camper.

It was cool when I left. At one point along my ride, the wind stinging my face, in a not unpleasant way, brought back a memory of sitting on the dock at dear lake Winnetou on a beautiful, crisp Fall day. It was clear as could be this memory and brought a smile to my face. Further along, I smelled the blossoming Cottonwoods. That too took me to Winnetou - memories of walking through the woods, feeling as familiar as ever, this feeling even tangible if that's possible- the impact of odour on memory is just so remarkable. Near the top I was riding on the edge of the road, close to treetops from the land below the cliffs, the wind was blowing fiercely. Our cottage was on a piece of land that also had a cliff's edge - and we always heard the wind in the treetops that ended up being at the same height as the house. That is one of my fondest memories of all, sitting out on the veranda, listening to the wind in the trees, bending gently, dappled by sun...

There are days when the images and sensations of Winnetou and the cottage come back so strong it's as if I were there an hour ago. I'm grateful for these memories, for connecting with something here - like Mount Royal - and having that take me back to my beloved lake and cottage. I pray that my grief, prolonged as it was, is not rekindled this year. It's been a hard 9 years, a hard process of loss. And yet, even though ... I always smile when I smell, feel, hear ..... when I am taken back.