Monday, August 23, 2010

August 23 ... perseverance and persistence...

I imagine that the fact that Honey and I have been sailing some pretty stormy seas seems pretty obvious from my posts of late. It's been hard, on both of us. Neither one of us having an clear idea of what is causing the malaise, the distancing, the sadness and loneliness that has been growing like a bad weed between us. After 20 and half years... it seems you really do have to work at things sometimes to keep them floating, growing, nurturing.

We talked again. I feel like we pierced something last night, that some important truth surfaced, made things understandable. Where to go from here? We don't really know, but fortunately it feels like a "we" again - however tenuous, fragile, unsure ... it's a "we".

I'm not sure if it's the specter of mid-life, the realization of time left, the experience of crossing things off your list because you know or believe you won't get to them, existential stuff... there is a deep and heavy sadness that lives among us - and "we" are going to figure this out. We are. I'm not going anywhere.

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