Hi there. So while I have indeed been neglectful - I would also like to say that I have had a dickens of a time getting on to Blogger. What's up with that? For three nights in a row now I have not been able to access the blog. Those are my excuses for now.
Alrighty - gratitude - it's there. There is lots good happening. Since I last wrote.... Honey and I are doing wonderful (even if the last two days has found me crabby). Even better, our weekly torture session this week, as we euphemistically call it, got cancelled! Now there's two happy people. Again, I have to say, couple therapy works when you do the work, it works when you let it work, and it works when you suffer yourself through the process. As a professional in the business, I have a whole new respect for my clients. Man is it hard work - to allow yourself to be that vulnerable, to trust that much, to share that openly. It is hard. But it is soooooo worth it.
One of the highlights in the past week has been the reintroduction of music into the home, into the soul of a man. And while I am suffering somewhat from the exclusion - I'll deal with it. I'm a big girl. I'll niggle my way back in... in the mean time, you play, piano man. You allow yourself whatever room you need. Grow. It's good for what ails you.
There's nothing quite like getting lost in our art is there. I remember those days - the smell of clay, I even like the smell of oil paints, toxic as they can be. Time I dug all that stuff out.... me too I need some fun.
Showing posts with label couple therapy really works. Show all posts
Showing posts with label couple therapy really works. Show all posts
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
October 13... Princess Day
It's October 13.. and, while I have taken a few days off here and there... here I am still blogging about gratitude! I'm proud of myself :).
Today was a Princess Day. So what did I do.... I skyped with my grandson! He is actually responding to me through the computer! Obviously it's not the same as holding him, being with him, or young daughter for that matter - but I can engage him. I find that very exciting. It's not long before Grandma Heidi is reading stories to him!!! I also received a beautiful thank you card from young daughter and her man. It was beautiful - and touching, because really, it's me who thanks her!
Honey and I did our work today too. What a difference that has made in our lives. For example, here we are, toying with the idea of getting a rescue dog, considering inviting a dog in where Doogie once was. We are both hesitating, both of us are, because all of a sudden we so appreciate this space and energy between us we don't want a diversion. Can you imagine, after 21 years we are excited at the prospect of each other! And I have to say .. it's humbling to hear it from him, to have it expressed by him, not just a ditto of what I'm saying, not just echoing me .. but something that came of it's own volition, to me, about me, for me maybe, even. A girl could get used to this you know. A girl could start to feel a bit like a Princess. And when you hear that, you open your heart more, and when you open your heart more, you grow, together. There's gratitude for you.
Today was a Princess Day. So what did I do.... I skyped with my grandson! He is actually responding to me through the computer! Obviously it's not the same as holding him, being with him, or young daughter for that matter - but I can engage him. I find that very exciting. It's not long before Grandma Heidi is reading stories to him!!! I also received a beautiful thank you card from young daughter and her man. It was beautiful - and touching, because really, it's me who thanks her!
Honey and I did our work today too. What a difference that has made in our lives. For example, here we are, toying with the idea of getting a rescue dog, considering inviting a dog in where Doogie once was. We are both hesitating, both of us are, because all of a sudden we so appreciate this space and energy between us we don't want a diversion. Can you imagine, after 21 years we are excited at the prospect of each other! And I have to say .. it's humbling to hear it from him, to have it expressed by him, not just a ditto of what I'm saying, not just echoing me .. but something that came of it's own volition, to me, about me, for me maybe, even. A girl could get used to this you know. A girl could start to feel a bit like a Princess. And when you hear that, you open your heart more, and when you open your heart more, you grow, together. There's gratitude for you.
Monday, October 11, 2010
October 11.... giving thanks....
Honey and I were away for the weekend. What a fantastic weekend it was. Memorable moments included soaking in the hot tub - two days in a row! Having picnics despite the autumn chill in the air - after having cycled the first 30 km of our 70 km day. Having found my glasses after they fell out of my pocket on kilometer number I don't know 50 or so, and only realizing I had lost them at kilometer 57 or so? That's a lot to be grateful for right there. But there's more.
Autumn in the Laurentians, cycling through Arundel farm country - oh my God is it beautiful there. A lovely room and a lovely B & B, some nice talking and loving with Honey, discovering new places together, feeling happy with each other's company, two great dinners together, laughing, loving, taking awfully good care of each other.
I'm giving thanks for all this richness in my life. I know I'm fortunate, I know it won't always be this way, but I also know most of what I need to do to keep it this way is cherish it.
Autumn in the Laurentians, cycling through Arundel farm country - oh my God is it beautiful there. A lovely room and a lovely B & B, some nice talking and loving with Honey, discovering new places together, feeling happy with each other's company, two great dinners together, laughing, loving, taking awfully good care of each other.
I'm giving thanks for all this richness in my life. I know I'm fortunate, I know it won't always be this way, but I also know most of what I need to do to keep it this way is cherish it.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
October 3 ....where understanding grows
I have had a lovely weekend. On Friday, Honey stepped up, showed up, and took nice care of me after a tough work week. I really needed that - and it seems I didn't know how much till we were done.
Yesterday, we went for a walk on the mountain together. It was beautiful. Changing colours, crisp air, holding hands and talking. Later that evening we had dinner guests and we had a nice time.
Today we did a 50K cycle. We went to a new cycling path and it was absolutely gorgeous.
Hanging out with Honey has been a down right pleasure these days. It got me to thinking...
When something happens to jeopardize your attachment to someone... it's such a scary thing. I hope the next time (well truth be told, I hope there is no next time) ... but if there is, I hope next time I have the sense to recognize that's what's going on.. that the attachment between the two of us is being challenged (neglected, compromised) .. I hope I recognize the set of feelings that kicks up when that happens.. .and I hope to hell I have the where-with-all to recognize that and react differently, so that the time spent in that state is only as long as it takes me to recognize it. My cues are a deep sense of loneliness, aloneness, sadness, a good dose of anxiety. And all that because I felt like my connection was deeply troubled.
That's an awful lot to simply say, I'm really grateful for my connection with Honey. I'm really grateful I can take an ordinary walk with him and still feel crazy in love. I have missed that. I'm grateful that we both choose to keep working at this, to keep taking care, that we both see how precious we are as a team.
Yesterday, we went for a walk on the mountain together. It was beautiful. Changing colours, crisp air, holding hands and talking. Later that evening we had dinner guests and we had a nice time.
Today we did a 50K cycle. We went to a new cycling path and it was absolutely gorgeous.
Hanging out with Honey has been a down right pleasure these days. It got me to thinking...
When something happens to jeopardize your attachment to someone... it's such a scary thing. I hope the next time (well truth be told, I hope there is no next time) ... but if there is, I hope next time I have the sense to recognize that's what's going on.. that the attachment between the two of us is being challenged (neglected, compromised) .. I hope I recognize the set of feelings that kicks up when that happens.. .and I hope to hell I have the where-with-all to recognize that and react differently, so that the time spent in that state is only as long as it takes me to recognize it. My cues are a deep sense of loneliness, aloneness, sadness, a good dose of anxiety. And all that because I felt like my connection was deeply troubled.
That's an awful lot to simply say, I'm really grateful for my connection with Honey. I'm really grateful I can take an ordinary walk with him and still feel crazy in love. I have missed that. I'm grateful that we both choose to keep working at this, to keep taking care, that we both see how precious we are as a team.
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