July 7 ... it's not January...

So as you've noticed from the recent posts... we have air conditioning. As well... it's +35 outside... still.

At the moment, we are sitting outside on our deck. We've just finished a rather nice BBQ dinner. We're enjoying a few pints. We're sweating like pigs... funnily so. It's stinking hot. I asked Honey ... "Why the hell are we sitting out here when it's nice and cool in the house?". His reply was ..."It's not January. You can't do this in January." He's right. 'Nuff said...

July 6.... hard not to be obvious...

I would like to post something profound and witty, something about family, shared values, getting through hard times....

However, due to the fact that it is plus 40 degrees out there... and life is hard on many a soul at the moment because of this heat wave... I am one of the ones that does not have to suffer because we have air conditioning. And hell yes, I'm grateful.

There is also a calm that has settled into the household. I am not sure how sustainable it is truth be told but I'm grateful for the reprieve anyway.

Pretty simple stuff for now... maybe that's the point. It's worth being grateful for simple things. Obviously.

July 5.... a reprieve...

I'm out on my deck. I hear evening birdsong.

I just had dinner and a nice Caesar.

We aren't fighting.

It's 40 degrees. I also hear what my mom used to call Heat Bugs. I think they are called June Bugs. Honey calls them Cicadas.. but I'm not sure we have them here. They make a long, electronic sounding hum and when you hear them you KNOW it's hot.

We aren't fighting.

I have air conditioning in the house.

Not a bad day all in all.....

July 4 .... how to be grateful

So yesterday's absence was due to it being a travelling day. 4 plus hours driving through the amazing Kananaskis National park - the long and winding and spectacular scenic route to the Calgary airport from Canmore. Wow. There is not much else to say. The landscape is so mindblowingly beautiful it's hard to even keep a conversation going whilst you're driving. So much gratitude to young daughter for the awesome limousine service.  Of course, my grandson was perfect through out. There is the second thing to be grateful for. The strength with which the love in your heart wells up inside is so powerful - it makes you wonder how there is any trouble in the world. It leaves me weak knee-ed and happy, and loving .. and it's the most amazing feeling ever.

It's interesting. Honey and I are in the midst of some of the most difficult times we have ever gone through. When coming to the computer to write I thought how the hell will I ever pull myself out of this enough to write. In Canmore, rather than be in the present whilst with my daughter - I fretted and stressed about what was back home. I can't blame anyone for that but myself. So I am grateful for the moments that I did have that were there, focused, about love and babies and daughters. It was wonderful. What I began with though about this being interesting - before I sat to write .. I thought myself somewhat consumed by anger, worry, stress.... but sharing about my daughter and grandson, and the mountains, has softened that. So gratitude isn't hard to find.  Yet I let the heaviness of other things drag me down. Truth be told it's why my blog has been so uninspired of late (to me anyway).

Some times too, the swings between this happiness and love with my daughter and grandson (sometimes even Honey), and how that bangs up against what's going on here at home now.... it's exhausting to live so much stuff at once. But I gotta keep motoring, keep putting it out there....good or bad... I will keep looking for the gratitude, it keeps me sane.

July 2 .... like riding a bicycle...

It's my last night here and so I gave the kids a break. The two have gone out to dinner for some much needed alone, adult time. Yay me... I'm alone with delicious little Levi. Was I worried? Was my daughter? No and I don't think so. I feel glad she has this faith in me. I have given him a bath, fed him twice today, coaxed him to sleep... and here I thought I forgot how to do all that...

It's so nice and quiet in the house at the moment.... that sleep should come so peacefully to all of us.

July 1... Happy Canada Day...

I went to my first parade today (no seriously, I don't get out much I guess). A Canada Day parade, in a small, beautiful Canadian town, filled with so many children.. as a matter of fact, I have never seen so many kids amassed in one place ever. It does my heart good to see these families. My line of work puts me into contact with troubled families, troubled kids; the big city I live in has it's share of troubled everything.  I am sure Canmore has it's "issues" - even so, it is a very different life here.

Canmore is nestled in a bowl of Rocky Mountains. No matter where you look there is Nature bearing down on you.  It's a real small, family oriented town. Most of the young women I see are either pregnant or walking with new babies. Families hike, walk, cycle together. As a matter of fact one of the "floats" in the parade was a huge group of kids, and little kids, all on mountain bikes. We met with people today, said hello to everyone who walked by us, and they in return said hello to us. The kids ran out into the parade because part of the tradition is that candies are thrown out for the kids to catch - we can't have that in Montreal can we? There were horses and dogs that participated in the parade, kids, cadets and veterans. And all along the parade route.. kids sitting on the street, waving and cheering.

What a beautiful day. Happy birthday dear Country of mine. I'm proud and grateful for the breadth and beauty I'm privileged to be a part of.

June 30 ... Grandmotherhood...

I have to tell you... there is no better feeling in the world than your daughter placing your grandson in your arms and saying "Here, you deal.. I need some sleep". Then you change, and feed, and play, and coo... and put the little man happily to bed. And the house is quiet and all is well and my heart is very, very full ....

I know I'm biased.... but oh my God, that baby is absolutely perfect. We all are aren't we?