Friday, March 26, 2010

March 26 and ritual

Passover is coming up, and while I'm not Jewish, Honey and his clan are and ever since we've lived in this house, we have been hosting the seders (big dinners). Our bubby, who will be 96 this year, has finally been convinced to give up the duties of making chicken soup and gefilte fish. Others in the family are happier about this than I am, I love gefilte fish!

Anyhow, Bubby called today. She wants me to pick up some chicken feet for her. That's all I can do, pick them up, anything else involving chicken feet just horrifies me! I told her last week I would, but when I went to chicken-dude (go figure I have a chicken-dude!) on Wednesday he didn't have any. So I told Bubby that and she wasn't pleased. She then asked me what I was doing, "Bookkeeping" I said. "Yeah, ok... so Heidi, where are my chicken feet?" she asks again. That's how our conversations go now. It's lovely. I tell her I'm getting them tomorrow. "Oh, ok" she says, "So what are you doing?" ....

I have been thinking lately how it's sad that in my family, my Lutheran, Protestant (for what its worth) family, it only took one generation to lose the rituals associated with our religion and culture. I remember as a kid we would celebrate Easter. My uncle and his family would come for dinner (always a disaster in our dysfunctional, alcoholic family, pretty much just like Christmas). We would paint eggs, eat chocolate bunnies, get presents (and as the evening wore on, duck for cover). I never carried that on with my kids. I guess that's how it goes sometimes - from my mother to me, the religious aspect was lost. She was a catholic and I am sure Easter revolved around going to church when she was a young girl. I think I was supposed to hand down the ritual of family gathering but that didn't happen. We sometimes even struggle to acknowledge Christmas amongst ourselves. Maybe that will change with grandchildren, I'm not sure.

I am happy for the ritual and culture of Honey's family. The family gathers, sometimes as many as 20 strong and I really enjoy that. Mother-in-law gets a little loony as the day nears, and Bubby likes to go on about chicken feet, but it's lovely, and I'm grateful for the family.

So Bubby, don't fret, I'm getting you those chicken feet tomorrow, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

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