Saturday, March 20, 2010

March 20 ... Happy Spring and other things...

I am not an alarmist. The fact that we have had one of the easiest winters and earliest springs is not necessarily due to global warming. Ice ages have come and gone and this year I'm ok with the "gone" aspect of winter's brutality. All that to say Happy Spring - and I am grateful for the weather and the end of winter.

Now to pick up from yesterday.

So this friends thing... I used to be notorious for rushing into relationships, not taking the time to really get to know someone, or for letting myself be known, and yet assuming the relationships were solid and real. This made for a lot of mucked up assumptions and inevitably heartache.

Maybe it's a function of age, maybe it's a function of having gotten burned often enough, I really see a change in how I engage, how I begin or enter into a relationship. I'm a little cautious now, I feel myself holding back, and it's not being dishonest, I don't know how to describe it really. But yesterday, sitting with my colleague/potential new friend, I felt it. We were sharing, caring, interested in each other, making plans together ..and all the while I felt this inner pacing I guess, recognized I was making choices to trust, to deepen what we were creating - I guess that's it - it was totally conscious.

That got me to thinking about gratitude... I am grateful I have a resilient heart. I am grateful I step back into the ring of humanity and relationships, continue to seek out new friendships, grateful I trust still. Because really, friends are a wonderful thing.

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