Monday, March 15, 2010

March 15 .... Our children

My dear friend has been suffering. Her son is addicted, doesn't matter much to what as it's all about chaos, manipulation, and sadly, enabling. I have been trying to support my friend, but again, in all these cases, the choice to change has to come from within right? I learned my lesson, and ever so happily so did middle daughter. My friend seems caught up in her own drama, about how to draw the line between her pain and her son's, her responsibility and her son's, her choices and her son's.

I remember in the beginning of our story, mine and my daughter's, I believed that what I was supposed to do was leave Honey and my son behind, and rent out an apartment to live out my daughter's adolescence. A wise social worker asked if I was joking. But the truth is, that's sometimes how far we think we have to go. The line between how I can "help", and how I can "hinder" is a very fine line indeed.

I want my daughter to know how grateful I am for the relationship we have. She echoed those sentiments herself yesterday. My friend had called her, to talk to "someone who's been there". My daughter was helpful, sympathetic, grateful for the "help" she got from me - which sure doesn't look like help in the way you would expect it. She told my friend she needed to say no, cut the ties, stop making excuses, stop giving her son a way out. My daughter was direct and honest - and caring. I really am so proud of her.

My gratitude goes out to you today Holly. You make me proud. I'm so excited for the road you have ahead of you.

No comments:

Post a Comment