I found it funny (well not funny funny, funny in a weird way) that Peanut would call me today to talk about her disappointing relationship with her brother, when I just got through feeling saddened by Honey's family. Is it that we all harbour these expectations to be thought of, loved, in a way that's satisfying to us? That we want warm and dependable relationships and they aren't what's there? We want honesty and concern, unconditional love and acceptance, and that's just not there? We want to belong, be a part of, a bosom (buzum - how to spell?) of a family, yet it doesn't really exist? Buddhists teach that the thing you hang on to for security, whether it's family, love, or ego - it's not real. The security is not real. Suffering however, apparently is. That sort of sums up my feeling of family .. often.
In terms of gratitude though, I am pleased that Peanut reached out and shared with me. We are a tiny unit her and I, and I would imagine it was her fear speaking, when she admonished me today to not mother her too much when I come for my visit. I know our relationship means much to her, as clearly it does to me. It's a precious thing, worthy of work and care. I don't want to lose it either Sweetheart.