Howdy. I need to share what a great time I had last night. We had a record turn out at the Lane Party - how I know is because I collect the dough to pay for the lamb - and I collected more than ever before. It was, quite possibly, the very best meshwi we ever had. Delish. The people were fun, my friends were great, and I didn't get drunk. You know there might be a problem lurking in the background, when people show up at around 6 pm and are saying stuff like "Wow Heidi, it's 6 pm and you're not trashed yet!" or ..."Hey Heidi, it's 8 pm and you're still here! Wonderful!". I actually got those comments last night - and truth be told they felt not good. (You need to know that the meshwi starts at around two in the afternoon, at which point the chef and sous-chef (I'm the sous-chef) usually starting cooking other things on the grill as well, and start with a bit of Ouzo .. it can and has gone down hill from there once or twice!).
Being the daughter of an alcoholic, drinking is always a loaded thing for me. I'm afraid of it ... until I start doing it, then I decide everything is fine. I learned last night that practicing restraint is not impossible, it is ok, and I feel a lot better today for it I tell you. It's horrible having that skeleton in my closet to tell the truth. It always makes me weigh and judge my behavior - probably, often, too harshly. And then the pendulum swings, and I don't respect the skeleton enough - apparently like at other lane parties. It's never, ever, a non-issue for me. There is always stuff to reflect on isn't there?
I had a great time. I got to take responsibility for my actions. I'm glad for it.