Friday, January 22, 2010

Day 22 ... About a Boy...

Today is a very special day. Today my grandson turns 6! How awesome is that. J is a treasure. Well what do you expect me to say - he is one of the most awesome kids I have ever met. He meditates, he fakes reading (funniest thing I ever saw), he is happy,inquisitive, smart, joyful and funny. I adore him. I wish he lived closer. I wish we, collectively, would have gotten off to a better start, but oh my how grateful I am for where we are. How very, very grateful.

I have another grandson on the way. And it seems my karma is all about difficult, fractious starts. I don't know why. I'm pretty sure it has a lot to do with choices I made as a young mother - many of them not very good. This time around, it also seems to have a lot to do with being judged for those choices. It's sad and painful. I can't change the past. I can however be the best person I can be going forward, and have been for a long time now. There is a silver lining to all that pain, and that's the gratitude you feel when putting your best foot forward does work, like with J and his mother.

I'm grateful for the clarity I have with my daughter. I'm very grateful for my relationship with her and her son. I am grateful that regardless how difficult my relationship with my other daughter may be, we continue to persevere. If my relationship with Holly is teaching us anything, it's that it can be done. I am really grateful for that.

Happy Birthday my dearest J. I love you very much.

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