Monday, May 3, 2010

May 3 ... Best Friends Forever....

I woke up to a text from my "oldest" best friend. A and I have know each other since we were both about 3 or 4. Her parents bought a country inn that was about 5 miles from my cottage. My mother worked at that inn before her parents bought it, and my father delivered bread to that inn. That is where my parents met. That is where A and I met. We grew up together - in our summertimes anyway.

There has always been a strange parallel in our lives. Our stories are very intertwined. We both come from serious German stock with its familiar rigidity and authoritarianism. We both have families that dealt with addiction - namely alcoholism, we both had parents that leaned heavily toward the narcissistic, we both had three kids, both got married to guys with mustaches and drove off from our respective weddings in muscle cars (we have pictures to prove it!!!), we both got divorced, both watched one of our own kids suffer the ravages of addiction, both found new relationships (although she married I didn't). Often we both struggle in our relationships - over many of the same issues - money, kids, sex, how similiar we really all are.

In her text this morning, she asked if she were being a good enough friend. It breaks my heart that she even needs to ask. Through all we struggle through on any given day it's sometimes hard to remember to reach out, hard to let the bitterness of the moments we are swept up in, melt away enough to reach out, to let someone in. Those sound like excuses though don't they? I love A .. deeply, honestly, for always. I am extremely grateful for her presence in my life. Her young heart, her beauty, her energy (minus the anxiety and worry!!) are beacons for me to aspire to. I know we ground each other. I know we remind each other of what we have been through, of our collective and individual strength, of what it means to be there for each other.

I can't wait for next year. We will both be 25, ok 50, and I plan to spend some serious girlfriend time with her, on some island out on the west coast. You start that planning now lady ... cause it's gonna be spectacular!

Much love to you.

1 comment:

  1. I have a friend like that - and I couldn't live without her! We grew up together, but she moved away about 20 years ago. I'm going to visit her on Thursday with my youngest daughter (she's 4) and I'm SUPER excited. My friend has a daughter that is only 2 months older than mine, and the girls are the best of friends. Watching them together is the greatest thing ever - they are like a little mini version of us.